Campagnia Restaurant in Fresno, California.

I walked into Campagnia in Fresno, CA as a part of my nationwide search for restaurants to accommodate my rather large family. We have two tour buses (there are only seven of us, however each is 300+ pounds due to a genetic malformation) and ten months. As we walked into Campagnia, the thick aroma of fine wine and culture filled my nostrils. The scent was sensual, relaxing, and sophisticated. I liked Campagnia already. As I waddled through the revolving doors, the hostess asked me "Hello sir, do you have a reservation?" I replied with a simple nod. "And what name would that be under?" I handed her the reservation card. "Schumaker."

She looked down at the card, then typed something out on the touchscreen attached to her podium. She looked up, frowned, and replied. "I'm sorry sir, your reservation has been cancelled." I was shocked. "Why is that?"

She looked at the ground, then ran her hands through her hair. The look on her face shifted to one of apology. "It was a reservation for seven. It's against policy to waste table spaces... so my manager cancelled the reservation."

It was a fatal blow. More discrimination against large families. We walked out of the restaurant disgusted. I could hear them trying to stifle their laughter.

Apparently we are not only discriminated against by restaurants, we are discriminated against by Bryan Brackney, of reservationforsix.com. Not only did he comment on my page once again, but he misspelled 'plenty'! Apparently third grade grammar classes were too much for mister Brackney.

I have been ATTACKED!

Bryan Brackney, of http://www.reservationforsix.com, has personally attacked me. He commented on one of my blog posts that I was "retarded", then plugged his own (potentially libelous) blog. It's obvious Mr. Brackney could learn a thing or two about taste, finesse, and manners. You want a conflict? Fine, bring it bitch.


By the way, your comment on my blog bumped my (almost brand new) blog up to one more comment than yours has ever received. Suck on that.

First Blog

This is a blog on the difficulties of getting a table for seven at a restaurant.

As I walked through the swinging doors of the Cracker Barrel, sweat dripped like warm rain on my forehead. I walked to the seater, fatigued from the night air. "Table for seven, please." She shook her head. No, alas! Too large for a normal table, too small... too small for a put-together. I sighed.